I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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