Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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