What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
