i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
