i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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