Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
