just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
