hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
