Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
