Cold hands, warm shart.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
