I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
