Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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