All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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