Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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