i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
