i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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