How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
