cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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