Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
