community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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