Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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