he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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