I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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