Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
