capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize