I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize