Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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