don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
