Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
