I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize