so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
