Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
