I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
