One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
