And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize