This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
