Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think my fart just growled at me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
