I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
