you traded sex for a burrito?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
