Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
