Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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