you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize