Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
