I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
