did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
