fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
