sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
