Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Bring me that man meat
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
