Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
