Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
