that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
