May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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