sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
