That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
