dude i'm inner monologue high
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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