So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
