Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
