Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
