let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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