it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
