McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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