Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
