My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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