if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
