HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
