she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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