Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
