i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
