I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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