He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
