dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I could make wine with my vomit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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