My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My vagina is officially offended.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
