I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
