im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
