I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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